The United States has been threatened with nuclear destruction. But don't let that spoil your week.
North Korea has thrown another in a long series of sovereign hissy fits and said, in a stuttering rage, that it is on the verge of turning Washington into a "sea of flames."
Fortunately, because the North Koreans lack a delivery system for their two or three bombs, the threat level is a soothing robin's egg blue.
The impetus for this latest eruption is ... well, who really cares?
It's always something with those pesky Hermit Kingdom inmates. A week or so ago, all was sweetness and light as basketball Hall of Fame member Dennis Rodman and his "friend for life," Dear Leader 3.0, talked basketball and — who knows? — maybe how to subjugate a poverty-stricken nation of 24 million suffering souls through brutal totalitarian rule and disastrous economic decisions; or the finer points of rebounding.
But as soon as it became apparent that the United Nations Security Council would vote, unanimously, to apply new and tougher sanctions to North Korea for its continued nuclear bomb testing — which the council did last Thursday — the high-fives ended and the reclusive regime went into a full-court press, spewing invective and dire warnings about the consequences of the council's stand.
The country's leaders have a habit of going bonkers at the slightest slight, real or imagined, which has long been a tool for keeping the minds of an oppressed populace off shortcomings such as an acute lack of food, a decent living standard and human rights.
So a spitting, frothing, eye-popping government reaction to any condemnation was expected. It's like whispering "gun control" to Wayne LaPierre after he's chugged an extra large double espresso: You know what will happen next.
But an irrational meltdown, no matter how entertaining, can't be laughed off when the irrational party has a couple of nuclear bombs and armed forces numbering somewhere around 1.1 million. So, much like a rabid dog in quarantine, North Korea must be watched for the further signs of madness that are sure to come.
Dealing with North Korea requires no nuanced diplomatic back-and-forth, and government pronouncements need not be parsed for their true meaning. I mean, "sea of fire" doesn't leave a lot of room for misunderstanding.
The flowery and coded language that civilized nations use to communicate their positions on matters of international importance is of no use to North Korea. Its stated goal is the destruction of the United States and South Korea and almost everything its "diplomats" say is a variation on that theme. On the other hand, there is something refreshing about dealing with a country that says exactly what it means, even if what is says is south of sane.
But the venomous outbursts of the past few days are eerily familiar. The promise of its opponents' demise and the absolute refusal to consider compromise of any degree rang a bell with me whose source I couldn't quite recall — until, yes, of course.
North Korea's febrile hectoring over the past few days is strikingly similar to the style and tone of tea party candidates in the run-up to last year's presidential election. They, too, sought to hide the underlying absurdity of many of their extremist positions through bombast and bluster, whipping their followers into a frenzy of righteous indignation.
That strategy didn't work out well for the tea party and, in the end, it will be equally self-defeating for North Korea. The tea party has faded into obscurity, but North Korea won't go anywhere quietly. The security council's sanctions will bite and that rogue nation's instinct will be to bite back
We've heard the sound. Now comes the fury.
Bill Federman is a Times Union editor. His email address is bfederman@timesunion.com.