A few years ago I was invited back to my hometown of Hudson, by a local youth advocacy organization called "Investments in Youth," to give the keynote speech at their awards ceremony. The event was to recognize the hard work and upstanding character of the city's young people.
As someone who grew up there and is well aware of the challenges and temptations that many of that community's poor and minority children deal with every day, it occurred to me that even as I praised the young people for their accomplishments, I could warn them of the dangers of life-limiting behaviors. Among them — abusing drugs, engaging in risky or criminal activities, teen pregnancy and a host of other pathologies that crush the dreams of so many of our youths.
But I didn't.
It wasn't because this isn't a brutal reality for more kids than I care to think about who live in places like Hudson, Albany, Schenectady, Troy, New York City, Detroit and other communities across this country. I didn't because it wasn't necessary.
That event was those kids and parents' moment of triumph, and that is what the focus should have been on. The fact is, they were receiving awards precisely because they had demonstrated strength of character and were making smart personal choices that enabled them to be recognized as outstanding students.
They didn't need me to remind them of the personal failings they see every day. What they needed at that time was simply for me to affirm them, praise them for doing well and let them have their well-deserved moment in the sun.
I thought about that speech after observing the recent controversy over President Barack Obama's speech to the graduating class of Morehouse College.
It was generally a very fine speech, with the requisite nods to the grads' personal achievement and the school's rich history of leadership. However, his riff on the social ills of the African-American community and rhetoric about "Not blaming racism" for problems they might find in life, and talk of "We've got no time for excuses," and the whole "Nobody is going to give you anything that you haven't earned" meme, struck me as peculiar, gratuitous and frankly, unnecessary for that audience.
He wasn't talking to high school kids at a Boys and Girls Club on the South Side of Chicago; he was delivering a commencement address to graduates of one of the most elite colleges in America, whose class members more than likely will go on to be leaders in their chosen careers and communities.
Yet, by once again focusing on the failures of the black community, he made the social pathologies of black Americans the focus of attention, rather than the amazing success of those Morehouse grads, and inadvertently fed in to the grotesque historical narrative that defines us by the worst among us rather than the best.
The proof of this can be found in the headlines given the speech from two divergent news sources.
The first, from the conservative Washington Times, blared: "Obama at Morehouse: Black men cannot use racism as a crutch." The second headline, from the progressive online minority Web magazine "COLORLINES," screamed: "Obamas to Black Grads: Good Job. Now Stop Being Such a Failure."
No other group of Americans is judged by this impossible standard or constantly reminded by the President of the United States of the unique burdens they place on themselves and this nation.
That's not to say the first black president should ignore the social ills that are endemic in black America and not ask us to be responsible for one another.
It is to merely suggest he might better appreciate the individual uniqueness of his audiences and simply give our young men a little credit on their special day. It's OK to embrace and affirm what is good in and about them without mitigating the compliments with a "But you know y'all still screwing up."
Of course we should challenge our young people when we must, but treat them with respect and love always. Especially when they achieve as promised and the world is watching.
Trevor W. Coleman is a Detroit-based journalist and author who served as chief speechwriter for former Michigan Gov. Jennifer M. Granholm and director of communications for the Michigan Department of Civil Rights. His book "Crusader for Justice," the biography of legendary federal Judge Damon J. Keith, will be published the fall of 2013 by Wayne State University Press.