I'm a food-loving, sports-watching, mother of two who loves to run and likes to take my kids to the library.
And, of course, none of this means I could be a mastermind who would plot to leave New Jersey commuters sitting in gridlock on the George Washington Bridge out of political revenge.
Because I'm just a mom.
I didn't need coffee to get me going Friday morning. All I needed was a sharp Twitter commentary from Amy Z. Quinn, a journalist and journalism teacher from the Philadelphia area, who noticed multiple reports on "Bridgegate" described Bridget Kelly, the former Chris Christie deputy chief of staff behind the Bridgegate emails, as a "soccer mom." If the term soccer mom wasn't used, Kelly's marital status (divorced) or parental status (mother of four) was at least noted in multiple reports, from The Star-Ledger to The Associated Press.
But what about her alleged Bridgegate co-conspirator, former Port Authority executive David Wildstein? According to the New York Daily News he was "a once high-flying political star." I have no idea if he's been married for 20 years or is a longtime member of the Greater New Jersey Speed Dating Club, likes to sit at his son's AAU games or even has a son.
But the current running beneath many of the reports was: It makes total sense that Wildstein, who went to the same high school as Christie, would do such a thing. But a timid, little (one anonymous source was quoted as noting she was 4-foot-9) "soccer mom"? How did she even find the time, what with having to clean all the Cheerios off the floor of her Honda Odyssey and scrub the grass stains off her kids' shin guards?
I don't know how many times I've come across stories about Obamacare that have described President Obama as a daddy, basketball lover and dog owner. Wait, I do know. Never.
The reporting on Kelly is troubling in two respects: First, how did her parental status suddenly become a key part of the scandal coverage, a necessary companion to details about her educational background and work history, and why was it irrelevant in describing her male co-conspirator? And, second, what about motherhood equals meek, mild and empty-headed?
A few years ago, I wrote a sports column critical of the Buffalo Bills fanbase that steamed many Buffalo fans. I received about 800 emails, some phone calls and a couple letters before the storm was over. (Google my name and there's also a pretty entertaining YouTube commentary.) But it wasn't being called every degrading word that can be thrown at a woman, or the suggestions I needed plastic surgery or the declarations that women should stay in the kitchen and had no business writing about football that set me on fire.
It was that some critics had looked at my job, and because I contributed to the Times Union's parenting blog at the time, labeled me as "mommy blogger" as if that was the most demeaning phrase they could find and an important tool in assessing my ability to say the Bills wouldn't hold onto a hot, 2-0 start.
I'm sure some would argue that those covering Bridgegate, both men and women, were simply trying to paint a picture of the scandal's players, and they knew more about Kelly's personal life than Wildstein's, so that's what got reported. I'd say the soccer mom and mother-of-four labels were some lazy journalistic shorthand, and were choices, even subconscious ones, that are pretty telling about how, even in 2014, we still view women in the work world. And how we view mothers.
What's a mom? She's sweet and bakes cookies and cheers for your soccer team, right? She couldn't also be a person who earned her promotion from director of legislative relations to deputy chief of staff and once there, sent an email to a Port Authority exec that it was "Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee."
Mothers are pretty powerful, and sometimes even cut-throat, creatures. Perhaps those covering Bridgegate should watch a "Dance Moms" marathon if they need to understand that mothers can backbite and scheme with the best of them.
Not that I'm proud. It's just that the next time we discuss Bridgegate, I want to know how often Wildstein has volunteered at PTA bake sales.
jgish@timesunion.com • 518-454-5089 • @Jennifer_Gish - facebook.com • JenniferGishwriter